God’s covering continues to both amaze and delight me as I find joy in the midst of my continuing trials.  There are days when the devil is after me with such force that I can barely breathe and I teeter on the brink of giving up on God.  Those days I find myself asking..yelling really, “Where are you God? Why have you left me?” and of course the great pity party question of all…”Why me, haven’t I been through enough already?”

Goodness, I bet God gets tired of hearing that one.

Somehow at my lowest point there is a power that washes over me, it is weak at first, but none the less there.  Slowly it ignites a tiny spark in me.  I begin to yield to God, praying, thanking Him, and calling out His name. Jesus, Jesus, I call, I need you!

He holds me up. He covers me in His warm blanket of protection and I begin to feel His strength coarse through my veins. Gratitude erupts from my heart, as I continue calling out His name.

Faith takes over, and I start to believe He walks with me, covering me with His shield to keep away the darkness. Only God can cover us with His peace and power, a power that filters down in us, through us and then out to others.  Power to live a life above the chaos and darkness. Power to have authority OVER our circumstances.

He tells me in His word,”Behold! I have given you authority and power to trample upon serpents and scorpions, and physical and mental strength and ability over all the power that the enemy possesses and nothing shall in any way harm you.”    Luke 10:19

Those dark days are fewer and fewer as I surrender to God more and more.  Thank you Lord, thank you so much.

God has whispered to me what I am going to do for Him and I trust that in His timing He will cover me with whatever is necessary to make that happen.  I believe that He will give me the power to accomplish His work here on earth.

“I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me, I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me, I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency.”  Philippians 4:13

Lord, I am ready, willing and able to obey you for this leg of my journey. Wrap your grace around me warm and close that I may always know you are beside me. Amen.

There is no connection between the cross and our lives because there is no connection to the truth of His word and who He is.  Until it resonates deep inside our body, spirit and soul-such that it radiates from our mouths, eyes, hands and heart, then we have not begun to approach our true capacity to love Christ and thus reach out to love one another as He commands.  We will continually fall short of not only witnessing His Glory but also of being the manifestation of Christ’s glory seen in us for others to see and thus enable them to find their way.  This is our true calling-to KNOW Him, then show Him to others.

As the temperature drops quickly from a lovely 74 to about 40 tonight, I am thinking about snow, can’t help it.  The wind outside is whipping up like strong and frothy cream and it takes me back to my childhood, and my mom’s favorite poem to repeat to us..”and the north wind doth blow and we shall have snow.”  She said it real scary as she blew out loud wind sounds with her words.  It always frightened me, and I am not sure if she did that on purpose or not- perhaps it was to quiet us..well-it surely did. Gosh I sure do “love me some snowy blowy nights.”

Both of my very best, most wonderful Christmas gifts came with snow and wintry weather and the promise of Christmas just around the corner.  My first real gift of Christmas came in December of 1982. I was a first time mom bringing home a babe wrapped in soft pink blankets… laying next to me in MY mom’s bed, which she graciously gave up for us that winter’s night.  As I snuggled with and nursed my sweet newborn, sheets of glistening white snow began to fall outside the window.  The ground was soon covered in a white quilt. As tears of joy fell down my cheeks, I listened to my baby’s breathing, in and out, against my chest, and it was heaven on earth to me.

For the two weeks until Christmas day, she and I stayed there under the watchful care of my mom and sister.  They tended to us so gently, bringing every meal in to me and loving on my sweet baby while I slept.

The surgery had thrown me for a loop and I did not want to “rest” with my real live baby doll, all I really wanted was to get up and play, but that was not feasible.  After about a week I could not stand it anymore, the tough girl in me called my sister in and told her, “we are going to my house and get my Christmas presents, I just have to get out!!” Donna knew I meant business, so she bundled us both up and drove me home.  Somehow, together we got everything and made it back in time before mom could catch us, for we knew the nurse in her would not approve!

Christmas came and went that year and I was exhausted, but it was worth every single minute of pain. That year Christmas itself is a blurry memory. My new pink bundle was introduced with all of our gifts, in a tiny red “Santa” outfit. She was the real present that captivated all of our attention….for I truly do not remember any other gift I received that year.

Many years later, 14 to be exact, I found myself with child and due again at Christmas time…. my second gift and “his” entrance to be told in my next story.

There are not adequate words to describe the particular type of unconditional love I feel for my children.  I can only imagine it must be comparable to the infinite love my Father in heaven has for each of us, yes, I believe it is close to that. Thank you Lord for my two precious gifts and for your love.

“…Yes I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you.” Jeremiah 31:3

Perhaps Lord I have yet again lost my way, not because You have not been there to guide me, but merely because I have been controlling my own steps. I have been looking for success in the world rather than through Your eyes.  Again, forgive me Lord, I have been waiting for bounty-my worldly wealth, praying earnestly for you to save me, when in reality You already have. (Saved me, that is).

I have been spending my limited time planning and asking for your blessings, all the while visualizing a supernatural climb up the corporate ladder.  We both know how much I deeply love You and believe in You, that is a given.  However, what I have not seemed to come to terms with is that I may not be financially blessed, returned 10 fold what people took from me, or even live a life with no money worries…it might not happen. Oh well.

This, I tell myself, is where faith comes into play, full hurricane force winds of simple faith and belief in the power of all mighty God.  The same God who parted the Red Sea so His beloved ones could pass, that God. I can not spend my brief moments here on earth waiting for my ship to come in, hey, it might not.

God may very well choose His will over my idealistic plan and it could possibly include struggle and pain.  Oh.  This is where some preachers throw us off course, cramming down our throats how rich we will all be as we give them our money, and afterward how God will supernaturally bless us beyond all reason. Easy to fall into that trap. Now don’t get me wrong, this gigantic God I serve CAN and HAS given with such power as they speak of, but it is not His normal everyday routine to do so, it is usually a surprise, which keeps us praying and hoping in Him.

The one true thing God promises us is that if we follow Him, He will lead.  Day by day, moment by moment, trial by trial, call out His name. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus and He will lead us.  Do we want to spend 40 years in the wilderness when the journey is only 11 days? No way.

“For I know the plans I have for you, ” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

The things of this world that I long for, are exactly that…things of this world and nothing more. My joy and blessings come from knowing Him, having a relationship with Him, this is my wealth. For I am filled to overflowing and spilling over into the lives of others with the light of His love in my life. This I know is my riches here on earth.

“Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.”  Isaiah 55:2

This morning’s song is, “It’s a rainy night in Georgia.” Outside the wind is boss today and the pretty leaves are running to hide from its wrath underground. Gazing out my kitchen window the landscape is, still, in November, a showy display of autumn tones. Amid this plethora of fall colors and trees however, is one lone standout.  This particular tree makes me smile every single day. Its color is so majestic all the other trees are just background music. The amazing thing about this beauty is that not one single leaf has fallen off the branches.

The crimson red leaves remind me of a garnet, my sister’s birthstone, with facets and layers deep and inviting, just like she was. So everyday I glance at this creation of God, I think of her also. What a sweet reminder of her, and just like her determined self was, it is holding on to each and every leaf until the last possible minute.

Today with the overcast sky and the rain drumming on the deck, I watched as one single yellow leaf danced over to rest on that magnificent red tree, just resting all yellow and bright against that red. I had a chill bump or two over that special moment. Another God whisper…my child, I am enjoying you, enjoying my beauty.

My son reminded me one morning as we drove to school that we must remember to take in all that fall has to offer us before it disappears. Wise child. So I am doing just that, lingering at a stop sign where colorful trees gather. Slowing down to glimpse leaves moving with gentle breezes and just breathing in all fall’s splendor any chance I can.

I remind myself God’s gifts and blessings to us, are not monetary. The cornucopia of His bounty is all around us, every day in His nature. Take a breath, slow down, look around, pick out a favorite tree, walk through the woods with your children and just savor all the abundance of His fall.

Thank you Lord for this garnet beauty in my back yard, a pretty little tree bending in the wind but holding onto every precious red leaf. I pray I hold onto every precious moment of Your fall season and remember to thank you each day for all you bestow upon me.

“Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift.” 11 Corinthians 9:15

“Splendor and majesty are before him, strength and joy in his dwelling place.” 1 Chronicles 16:27

As I was getting ready for church this morning, all I could think about was my outfit.  It was a Beth Moore darlin’-laid out the night before, I was beyond excited. The standout piece was a sweater my daughter passed down to me from her “I don’t wear this anymore” clothes. It had rhinestone buttons and was a pretty silver color. The whole outfit that draped over my yellow sofa hinged on that cute sweater. As I put my arm in that first sleeve, while looking in the mirror anticipating this ensemble coming together, I yelled, “OH MY GOSH!” In my reflection my right arm was covered with holes from shoulder to wrist! There was no way in the world to hide that “hole-y” mess.  Ripping it off and throwing it on the floor I knew my outfit was doomed.

In the next 30 seconds I surprised myself by gathering my wits, crossing the bedroom , opening my dresser door and considered my options.  I ended up topping the simple black dress with an old tried and true sweater that never let me down. As I was putting on some far too glitzy earrings for church, my son walked in, “Gosh Mom you look so good, a little fancy for church, but good” he said.  Okay, I admit, I did change the earrings, but the rest of my redone outfit stayed on me.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure…”  Proverbs 31: 25

I realized that what I wear is not relevant to who I am in Christ.  It is the armor of God that I must put on each morning, one sleeve at a time that will be without holes, always covering me.

Later on in the church service I laughed to myself about that “hole-y” sweater…many thoughts ran through my mind….

…what if I hadn’t seen those holes and worn it anyway? How many sweet dear women of God only have worn out sweaters to wear-with no backups?  Do the holes represent God’s truth that it is not the things of this world that bring us joy, but living in God’s presence that keeps us covered?  Was that incident satan trying to trip me up?  Well….if it was, God sure won that battle, ‘cause I wasn’t about to let a little thing like a “hole-y” sweater keep me from a big thing like Holy worship with my King!

So I find I am grateful to my holes for reminding me how whole I am in Him.

“Therefore put on God’s complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day…” Ephesians 6:13-18

After the recent storm, all during my devotions in the morning, birds graced my window fluttering all over my deck.  Cardinals, wrens, chickadees singing as God is reassuring me He had my back. Reminding me, “If I feed and care for the least of these, then imagine what I will do for you my child.” Another whisper of hope from God.

Our home is surrounded by Goliath pine trees yet we were protected in the hurricane. Not a single branch fell and we had power all night…miracle. That is the power of the Almighty One for He alone controls all things. Thank you for hearing my prayer and covering us with your umbrella of protection. You Lord are my rock, my shield and protector, in whom I put all my trust.

The only remnants of Hurricane Sandy are the leaves making a quilt over my very wet ground and all the deck furniture huddled inside my porch. The trees swayed and danced but never broke-much like He asks us to do in our daily lives when faced with trials. Bend and sway and pray as you walk through the hardships this life brings, but do not let it break you, hold steady.

God is in control, always and forever, through every storm we face He is there. We may bend and sway and dance, but with God in our back yard we will NEVER break.

“As for God, His way is perfect, the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.” 11 Samuel 22:31-33

Again leaves twist and turn and dance all around me, tumbling onto the blanket of soil below, leaving brown brittle branches naked and quiet. I am quiet, even feeling as if I am in a downward spiral of renewal and loss. Fall’s air has a certainty about it, like no else can match it, even the wind pushes with strength and arrogance.

My son and I decided to take advantage of a no school day and drove down a local scenic byway hoping to catch some color in the trees. It was a typical cold, wintry looking day, we had jackets, scarves, leftover Halloween candy, and of course our phones for picture taking. Talking and watching the passing countryside we made our way to one of the local plantations on the river. Arriving at the old white mansion sitting there all alone behind huge iron gates we realized it was pad locked and we were the only other humans there.  The only logical thing to do next was take pictures of this awesome old historic site…we snapped images to my I-pod which failed to capture the pure isolation we felt being there.  We headed out to find one that had people in it!

The only plantation open was down a long country road with a sign that informed us that the road was made for a horse and carriage- so drive slowly and carefully and enjoy the ride! We both laughed so hard I just barely missed a giant old tree! At the end was 1,000 beautiful acres right on the river, we both pretended like we were back in time…so fun. Our guide was a young man who just graduated from college with a history degree. He told me this was the only job he could find in his field and he was darn lucky to have it.  The three of us talked about the beauty of history and he ended up giving us free passes to come back. Wow, God sure does work in the quietness of a cold fall day sometimes- we planned our return trip to explore all the grounds in weather above 40 degrees as we walked back to the car.

Driving home my heart reminded me how special these simple days are, spending time with each other, talking, and sharing life…to me that IS life.  Later on that night my son said to me, “Mom it really is all about being with family and friends, it makes me happy.” There you go, simple, truth from a teenager, truly they just want to spend quality time with us, not money or fancy places or things, just being with each other sharing life’s ups and downs together. Thank you son for a super cool fall day with you and a little history lesson too, I wouldn’t trade these moments for all the world, nope not for all the world.

Transformation  transportation

which road to redemption

up hill climb steep and treacherous

towards creation

up and up round and round

rays of sunlight catch my blue

may I be a different hue?

Rocks and stones sever my bones

whiteness crisp and bright

Prince of Peace

where art thou tonight?

Grains of sand number my pain

seeking thee – to what gain?

Up and up round and round

I am blue I am sky

fly to the moon

tears in a bottle

so am I

freedom’s a powerful flutter away

dare I risk it today?

Up and up round and round

life goes on

King of Kings

lend me a hand

transformation beckons now

wince and grumble, squirm and wiggle

into new through the old

your mystery unravels into beauty

I am saved through my pain

soaring soaring up and up

filtering sunlight through Your cup

partaking of the grace I see

seeking who I am in Thee.

Round and round

transformation begins as knees hit the ground

Eucharisteo rushes past my lips

Prince of Peace lifted me

higher on hills to worship Thee

safe and saved

covered by grace

rest in Thee.