Category: Uncategorized (Page 1 of 7)

Tonight I sip hot herbal  tea with honey, as I silently pray for healing.  This cold crept up on me in the night and placed a pile of bricks on my chest. I’ve got way too much to do right now and no time to rest, so please virus make haste and go.  This “bug” has hung around so long it took over the guestroom in my lungs….time to move on now, head on out.

I fell asleep sitting up in bed, when I woke up at 3 am my bible was upside down on my stomach with pages all flipped out of place.   I think we feel this way when our health is upside down. We are knocked out of place from our normal daily routine, we struggle to right ourselves, make it all better.  Remembering the last verse I read before I drifted off, I remind myself again, God is in control, relax.  Hard to do in a struggle, you just want to kick and squirm and wiggle your own way out.  From my own experience I will tell ya, it does not work, seems I fall deeper in the sick pit when I fight.

“The Lord has declared that He will restore me to health and heal my wounds.”  Jeremiah 30:17

I drift back into a uneasy slumber…”My presence will go with you and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14

Each morning I manage to carry myself to work and move slowly through my day.  I think of God walking with me, of His peace and His presence in our hard days, big or small.  He carries us through it all, a late winter cold, a cancer scare, a loved ones last days, He is there, He cares. It is this unmovable, unshakable mountain moving faith that sustains us, it is what keeps us going in the sick days.

Keep the faith, keep praying, fall asleep with your Bible in your lap, keep His word close and He will always walk with us….it is a promise from our King.  I am counting on it to lift me and bring me peace for I am held together by a God who does NOT change.

Sitting outside at Panera in God’s beautiful warm sun, I feel the beams of light wrapping me in His love. His presence is the clearest to me when I am outside enjoying His nature.  This morning, before I head to work, in this moment, outside, I am reminded that God is in control and I am not.  Perhaps He led me here today to settle my nerves, calm my spirit and whisper how close He is.

How quickly we loose sight of His presence in our everyday, ordinary problem filled lives.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”  Psalm 119:105

If I just take the time to slow down and look around I will find God everywhere in every single moment of life.  When I forget to do this I get all tangled up in a web of anxiety and worry, and the more I struggle to free myself the tighter I am bound.  But…closing my eyes, remembering who I am, a child of the most High God, being still, frees me. Life and its tower of trials is still there but I am free because God takes over the moment  and I let go.

Breathe Cindy Kay, Breathe.

Pray, talk to my Father and release my life to Him.  My body calms, the web can’t hold me, God holds me.

“He gives power to the faint and weary and to Him who has no might He increases strength…” Isaiah 40: 29-31

The only way to make it through each day is to call on Jesus, whisper His name, keep my focus on Him.

I hum Jesus Loves me …as me and my stuff pile into the car and head to work.

To all the Mothers everywhere, who loved children not their own,

who walked with them hand in hand, down long dusty roads.

Who took them in and sheltered them and kept them safe from harm,

we are all thanking you for your courageous love.

Because of you a life was saved and shown what real love is,

You will leave a legacy teaching us how to treat one other,

ripples of love running fathoms deep into future generations.

Thank you, God bless you, for giving from your heart,

Happy Mother’s Day…..we will all remember your loving arms.

“This is My commandment; that you love one another, as I have loved you.” John 15;12

Tonight my precious grandson slumbers in my room just a few feet from my bed.  It is my last night with Nikki and Ren and although I have whispered my heart into his-I still must pray he remembers me.  His sweet snuggles close to my face and little fingers wrapped around mine are moments I will frame and savor.  Love,  prayers of God’s shield of protection around you both, and my heart goes with you when you go…..

Last night my son and I ventured to Verizon, hoping we had credit enough for new phones. We both needed phones that actually had more sense than our “not so smart” ones. I was praying for a special friends and family plan to jump off that black tablet they all walk around with hoping it would be within my tiny budget. By some miracle we were told both of us qualified for free upgrades and that these devices actually had college degrees! LOL. We decided to think on it.

All night I thought about how great it would be to have this awesome new phone plan and super hero phones, especially when he went off to college next year. The ability to connect with friends and family via my “educated” phone was almost an overload of emotions. Okay, so I am a little behind in the “techno” gear area, but NOT on connecting with friends and family.

I have always kept loved ones close to my heart, but about five years ago that connection got upgraded. Things shifted in my life that caused a chain of events, that changed me forever. My priorities shifted at that juncture and I began placing God and friends and family first and foremost 24/7. Loving and serving them became a permanent lifestyle and behavior change for me. Of course there were sacrifices made, schedule changes, and sleep overs away from home, but what it really came down to was…choice. It was about me choosing the right plan for my life and purpose here on earth. I chose to talk to my mom every day, visit each week, be present at family events and celebrations, comfort the sick and just listen and help when they needed me.

There was a moment that I decided to read my Bible and devotion books and pray every single morning, no matter what. It was hard at first, but over and over day after day I would make the decision to do it. Now it is part of my daily life, and my day is not right without it.

God gave us free will because He wants us to choose Him out of love, not fear. Whether or not I decide to get a smart phone plan, one thing is for sure, my personal friends and family plan is on rock solid ground and I am renewing my contract with God. Guess I am in this one for life…you might say I already have a smart plan! Do you?

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to bring you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

In a meadow 20 seasons ago, God whispered to me, “the winds of change are coming.”  Since that day my life has profoundly changed, some things were horrible, others scary, there were a few happy moments with the one constant being change.

When we get complacent with our lives God throws a wrench in there and things go awry.

Still reeling and swirling from all the mornings since that day, I have poured over my devotional books and creamy coffee, struggling to understand the thorn in my life. My confession is this..I am still lost in that windy wheat field, longing to hear your whisper again, wondering in my head and in my prayers aloud if you have forgotten me?

I know that I know that my trials are my strength, yet I still cry. Yet another pink sunset pours over me and still, I am here. I am IN the winds of change and I long like a lost child looking for home, for a break in the wind. Just a small respite of relief from this journey…when God when? Why God why? Am I not good enough for You? Am I swirling so fast because you no longer need me?

The familiar ring tone breaks into my thoughts, my daughter reminds me to keep being faithful because it is what will carry me through. She reminds me that faithfulness is the simple ingredient God is looking for…nothing more. Okay, I can do that.

So, while I am here God, in this wind blown life being tossed around, I will hang onto my faith. It will be my tether as I whip around and around. You God will keep me grounded, and when it is time, I pray you will still need me to serve you.

In the meantime…I will pray and wait.

“Timing is on God’s time, not ours. Wait patiently for answers to our prayers, God is always at work in our lives.”  “God cares for everyone of us, he will always be faithful to us.” Written by my sister, Donna Tidwell, before she went to heaven. It was in the margin of her Bible beside Psalm 74 verses 10-17 and Psalm 72.

I am relaxing on my porch-my heaven on earth spot, watching the sweet little birds. We have had a heat wave of upper 90’s with humidity putting us at 120! I find I can’t breathe in the thick grey air, it seems to suffocate me and put my brain in a fog. I am definitely a sweater weather girl!!

This Saturday morning God has blessed me with a light breeze, the kind that just nudges the trees a bit, like my grandmother with a paper fan in church. My deepest thanks Lord. I am longing for the companionship of fall and all it’s crisp cool colorful splendor.

Another nudge and the trees glisten for me as the morning sun peeks through the leaves. Awwwww- sweet life. This is my special time with God, the priceless moments of solitude and prayer that get me through each day. Before my feet touch the floor I thank Him for the day before me and ask that I be a blessing to others throughout the day. Then it is downstairs to make my famous fresh brewed coffee, then Joyce Meyer on TV, and off to my sanctuary. The way I see it is this life is beyond hard and my personal trial has gone on for years and the only way I can possibly keep going is with my God time. Me and God hashing things out over coffee and raisin toast and the sounds of nature. Yep, that’s my morning ritual and I’m sticking to it, cause it works! I figure this gives me what His Holy Bible says is “the covering shield of saving faith.”

I lift up my shield of faith during the day when my trial gets tough and just hold it up high and stand my ground. I call out, “I am a child of the most high God, I will not be shaken!”

Isaiah 12:2 says, “I will trust and not be afraid for the Lord God is my strength and song.”

Yippeeeee for me God is my strength all day long! This is a dark world and I have to start my day close to God to be able to go through each day, and if I need Him I close my eyes and call His name.

So, now, I am off to work armed and ready for my day, carrying my faith with me and thanking Him all the day long!

My sisters Cheryl and Donna were a blessing to so many. In their 18 years and 52 years here on earth, they lived a life far better than most. There was a quiet power in their giving and sharing of themselves.

I am learning in my latter years that it is in the act of giving love that we receive love. Jesus gave and gave and gave, from his birth to the grave and He is still changing lives. My two sisters gave like that, completely from their hearts.

This year I will be 60, and looking back over my life I realize that many of my lessons of total unselfish giving and true love of others came from my sisters examples. These two special women walked the walk, and on their short journey here left a legacy of love. From giving paychecks to the poor, creating weddings for those in need, taking care of babies and children to showing up whenever anyone called for any reason. They were present in your moment and I adored that and my heart longs for just one more moment with them.

Honestly they just had this special gift of making you feel like a priceless treasure. I was of value to these beautiful women, and I know so many others, young and old felt it too. They changed my life and left a legacy of love that will continue to have a generational ripple effect long after all of us are gone.

They taught me what it means to truly love your neighbor as yourself. It is not the length of our years that make change, it is the LOVE in our years that creates the change in hearts that the world truly needs.

BE the change you want to see and give of yourself in honor of your loved ones.

Cheryl Elizabeth Drake

Donna Jean Drake Tidwell

Yesterday was one of those sunny fresh as a daisy days and mom and I decided to venture out to her two daughters grave sites to refresh their flowers.  It is a ritual we do together that I have grown to love. On this last leg of her life journey she is more of a fragile rock than the strong willed tough girl who raised me. Her edges are softer and her vulnerability stirs my soul.

She always cleans off the stones before we replace the flowers, “a fresh start” she says. The wind was whipping through the two majestic trees beside us as my mom pulled out paper towels and water, scrubbing and cleaning the graves. Our cleaning supplies and plastic bags were taking flight dancing over all the headstones.  As I leaned into the bronze vase I felt a large soft object fly low into my head, brushing my hair. At first I thought it was mom being silly and throwing paper towels at me. Startled I jerked my head up and saw a large beautiful bird leaving my head and flying low through the thick tangled branches. The wing span was expansive and mom and I just stared- mostly in disbelief at what just happened. Then it came to my spirit what God had said earlier to me, “I will cover you with my wings.” That beautiful bird’s flight pattern was an unusual reminder that God’s got us covered – no worries.

“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” Psalm 91:4

We both smiled at the power of God’s nature and His ability to send signs to His children to comfort us. Mom whispered in a raspy voice of being so sad and heart broken over the loss of her two precious children. Her breaking heart is tearing mine into pieces.

A few moments later it hit me, and I shared with her, really mom it’s like they took an earlier flight. We are all heading to the same place but on different flight schedules, some of us arriving earlier than others. Mom, I said, she just got there earlier than we will and she is making things ready for us. She smiled. I told her that bird was a sign, really, letting us know she arrived safely and we will see her soon. Quietly we gathered our supplies and walked to the car.

The winds may blow and change may indeed come, but I am covered by the shield of my faith in the one true God. Even though we depart this earth on different flights, our destination is the same and we will all meet again in our heavenly home.

“In my Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” John 14:2