Changes

In a meadow 20 seasons ago, God whispered to me, “the winds of change are coming.”  Since that day my life has profoundly changed, some things were horrible, others scary, there were a few happy moments with the one constant being change.

When we get complacent with our lives God throws a wrench in there and things go awry.

Still reeling and swirling from all the mornings since that day, I have poured over my devotional books and creamy coffee, struggling to understand the thorn in my life. My confession is this..I am still lost in that windy wheat field, longing to hear your whisper again, wondering in my head and in my prayers aloud if you have forgotten me?

I know that I know that my trials are my strength, yet I still cry. Yet another pink sunset pours over me and still, I am here. I am IN the winds of change and I long like a lost child looking for home, for a break in the wind. Just a small respite of relief from this journey…when God when? Why God why? Am I not good enough for You? Am I swirling so fast because you no longer need me?

The familiar ring tone breaks into my thoughts, my daughter reminds me to keep being faithful because it is what will carry me through. She reminds me that faithfulness is the simple ingredient God is looking for…nothing more. Okay, I can do that.

So, while I am here God, in this wind blown life being tossed around, I will hang onto my faith. It will be my tether as I whip around and around. You God will keep me grounded, and when it is time, I pray you will still need me to serve you.

In the meantime…I will pray and wait.

“Timing is on God’s time, not ours. Wait patiently for answers to our prayers, God is always at work in our lives.”  “God cares for everyone of us, he will always be faithful to us.” Written by my sister, Donna Tidwell, before she went to heaven. It was in the margin of her Bible beside Psalm 74 verses 10-17 and Psalm 72.