Today I decided to get a grip, take a stand, fight the good fight, get in the race, you know take on life as it is. Sitting in my car typing this watching the neon red leaves dance for me in the wind, I am thinking does God realize my plate is already full to the brim? Maybe He is so busy it slipped His perfect plan that I am already in overload? No, I think not, He just maybe feels I can handle it. I think He has more confidence in me than I do, I can’t eat all this food life is feeding me.
It has been several long years since I had to close my business that paid all my bills and more, since I filled my house and became a hoarder with my old store’s contents. (We don’t let company in through the garage…lol) Yeah, it’s been a long time since a paycheck was deposited, too long I fear. Trust girl, trust. I am down to my last 2 months of money, and now would be a good time for God to surprise me! Funny thing is I totally and completely believe He will, totally.
You can not believe the things I save money on…my cute wardrobe is a unique combo of hand-me-downs from my adorable daughter, smart thrift store finds, consignment stores where I bring mine in and take something gently new out!! It is actually an adventure to find new treasures this way, my son does not know the difference, what a great boy. Lucky me.
I carry this new found philosophy about saving into every area, food, entertainment, heating and cooling the house, you name it, I can save it. I know all the “free” and reduced things available to single mom’s, and I use them. But today I felt a twinge of the old me push to the front of the line, as I walked around the grocery store, just killing time as they say, I was sad. Not in a bad way, just wishing I could put whatever I wanted to in my cart, that kind. I was on a budget in a 2 months left get serious kind of way and I did not like it one bit. I just wanted stuff I could not afford, and at that moment my heart realized fully what so many are suffering through in this economy-lack. Plain and simple my life problems plate is busting full, but my real plate on my table is a bit lean, not empty just lean. I decided as I paid for my few items, that I will cherish eating, lean is okay, it’s not empty, it’s just okay.
God has made promises to me, to all of us, to never leave us, never forsake us and that makes my plate full. Full of His promises, His word, His grace, His abundance. Of course His timing is not mine, and His ways are not mine, but today I have peace in the knowledge that He does HAVE a plan for me and it is just perfect and enough. I love that word, enough, it is one of my favorites now. Now that I have truly experienced not enough at times, I appreciate that God is enough to sustain me, even when my plate is so full of issues of life that I could just burst, He is there. Right along side me bringing me peace in my trials and I smile despite it all. I write. I pray. I sing and dance to His songs of praise and I thank Him so much for the bounty before me at my table tonight, for truly my plate is full enough. I am blessed.
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